Dead and Deader

I just had a 20 minute conversation with my cat that consisted of meowing back and forth. It was a very fulfilling conversation.

psychotropicpolitics:

the buffy musical episode saved this entire day from being a waste of 24 hours

thank you, television gods

It is sad that I know every word of this episode by heart and I will fucking watch it right now on my girlfriend’s cable because I recorded it on that thing.

Sleep definitely correlates to my mood and coordination and those two things are then mutually exclusive.

Tired = very excitable mood (may be angry/anxious/happy on any given day, but exciteable)

Excitable = trip over a crate next to your door

Tired + Excitable = Coordination

Coordination = face plant on floor, luckily nothing was there to smack me in the nose

Coordination + severity of injury or perplexity to be injured or (frustration at excitability) = mood

Mood = :( + sleepy(squared) = nap time face

dear internet,

onyrclothesline:

riotpurl:

So I have been noticing words like “miss”, “ladies”, “ma’am”, and “girls” a lot lately being used to refer to me and people I am with. This bothers me and I know a lot of my friends feel the same way. When it’s my housemate’s grandma I don’t really care, but I feel like the people who work at restaurants and stores and whatnot should be more aware of this, because I don’t need to be called “miss” every six seconds when I’m trying to eat a burger. I want to find a way communicate this concisely that is as non-douchey as possible. 

Also this is tricky because there’s no real polite/professional gender-neutral way to get the attention of someone whose name you don’t know, so I guess I’m not as much talking about people trying to get my attention. I’m talking about totally gratuitous uses of “miss” and “ladies” stuck randomly in sentences or greetings. 

I thought about writing a note in a restaurant last week but that seemed too serious. I kind of had a chance to talk to somebody about it today but I was too shy and not sure how to phrase it or bring it up. I don’t really wanna say “you misgendered me!” because that’s not really true, but saying “I’m alienated by these words you’re using for vague gender reasons” is way too abstract and sounds whiny, and saying “you will probably misgender people if you use those words to refer to everyone who walks in here that might have boobs” seems too distant. 

Sarah suggested making little cards to give to people, which I think could work well in a lot of situations. Especially if we made them available and encouraged other people to use them too. It could list a couple of suggestions for more inclusive terms (“folks”, “people”, etc.) I expect a lot of people would think I was overreacting or roll their eyes at me but it might get better if more people start working on this and also I can deal with that. 

Anyways, thoughts/suggestions?

this issue is something i’ve been thinking about too. my wif, she thinks such nice thoughts! the cards remind me of adrian piper’s calling cards, which has always been one of my favorite methods of calling people out in a way that doesn’t seem accusatory.

SAY “Y’ALL”. WORKS EVERY TIME. That is at least what I say because I live in Texas and I work as a line cook and I serve people food so I deal with people on the regular. Or for singular, I’ll just be like.. “hey.. here’s your food”

Also, this is very tough. I would not necessarily give people cards, but I know that would be helpful for people with anxiety about this issue because you don’t have to confront the person by saying words to them. I would normally say, “please refer to me as…” and you don’t have to be a jerk about it. If you don’t feel comfortable, make cards. Do what feels comfortable for you. Some people won’t be able to call people out and that’s fine. There isn’t necessarily an all encompassing solution. Spread awareness. Make fliers. Start workshops in your community. Do whatever, but don’t stay quiet about it.